The Bigot List
The Proud- This bigot is most likely to call their hate an opinion and talk about how everyone is entitled to their own. They will continue by speaking of their misguided understanding of Freedom of Speech. The important thing to remember when dealing with “The Proud” bigot is that it is only their opinion and their Freedom of Speech that they believe should be protected. Those that oppose them are somehow anti-freedom. Those that oppose them are not using Freedom of Speech but are in fact trying to squelch it.
The Enlightened- This bigot calls for peace. The problem is, their call for peace is only directed at the victim of hate. Rarely, if ever, is this “Call for peace” directed at the person who has caused the pain. They are anti-retaliation but not so much anti-attack. This bigot will talk of Ghandi or quote “An eye for an eye…” They’ll say, “Whatever the hate fueled person did was bad BUT…” All the while stepping directly on the hurt person and remaining completely silent in the face of the person who has caused the harm. They will often go on a faux peace rant, end it with an incorrect use of Nameste and be completely shocked that everyone doesn’t immediately fall at their feet and start singing We are the World.
The Troll- The troll is more common to internet life. Most people have either encountered a troll or have at least seen others dealing with one. Trolls are the most temperamental of all the bigots. They are “Trolls” in the first place because they like control. The only problem with The Troll is that they only like having control, not being controlled. In most cases, the thing that makes a troll sit in a ball and cry is doing nothing. These are weak willed people. They are incapable of human discourse so they’ve found a way of convincing themselves that what they are doing is for “Entertainment” purposes and if you get upset, it’s because YOU don’t have a strong constitution. Those that have shut a troll down, know that The Troll is by far the most likely to cry and pander for others to attack than any other bigot.
The Teacher- This bigot is perhaps the most dangerous to the weak minded. The Teacher is a person who spews “Facts” but each and every fact will actually be something they heard or something they’ve conjured up in their own mind. You see an influx of this sort of thing around time when people are trying to get money for college. They’ll talk of who get’s scholarships and be 100% factually incorrect. Often, they’ll even make up percentages that never seem to be linked or backed up in any way. These people are dangerous to those that don’t do their own research, those that don’t ask questions and those that believe anything they are told. Unfortunately, those that are most likely to be susceptible to “The Teacher” are also those most likely to become “The Teacher.”
The Almost- The Almost is likely your favorite if you have studied in whatever field they claim to be an expert in! “The Almost” is the person who gives information that was at one time considered factually correct. One ongoing example is: The Science Expert! You’ll see “The Almost” talk about how one race is inferior to another based on skull shape. The problem is, this theory has been disproved several times, over several years by several different well known scientist. However, it was considered true AT ONE TIME, so this person will use something that was ONCE considered true, ignore all current data that disproves the theory and justify their reasoning for their bigoted views.
The Comedian- This is the “It was just a joke” bigot. No matter what they said, what they did or who they hurt, in their feeble minds, it should all be allowed, encouraged and completely acceptable as long as they say “It was a joke.” The Comedian is second only to The Troll in over sensitivity. As a matter of fact, one of the favorite tools of The Comedian is to say that they were “Just trolling” when then have reached a point when they no longer can think of anything better to say to justify their ignorance. It’s often a last ditch effort. They will say, do and be horrible in every way but when called on their ignorance will cry and say that EVERYONE ELSE is overreacting. This person will also often use the line “Stop being offended by everything” or “Everyone is offended by something. People need to calm down.” All the while, crying about how mean everyone is to them.
The Magician- This bigot is the emotional terrorist of the group. Though all forms of the bigot will attack you on an emotional level, “The Magician” makes it an art form. The magician spews hate, then once this bigot is either called on their crap or proven factually incorrect, they claim that they have a mental illness. Yes, it magically appears! This illness can rarely, if ever, be truly proven. This is used as a quick turn-of-events playing card. The Magician will attack at will. Then, when they see that they are losing the battle, they invoke an illness that you previously knew nothing about. Next, this illness becomes the reason that YOU, not them, but YOU are wrong for “Attacking” them. It’s clever but certainly a vile move. Only those who live in the depths of sub-humanism are capable of this sort of action.
while this is a great list, i feel like it’s missing one: The Devil’s Advocate.
The Devil’s Advocate is a weird mix between The Troll, The Enlightened, The Teacher, and The Almost. they, like The Troll, are in it for the satisfaction. however, their satisfaction is drawn from seeing your point completely and then trying to find a way to tear it down or refute it using tactics that The Teacher and The Almost uses. throughout the entire argument, or as they see it, “argument”, they will use these tactics along with any new information you provide to try and shake you up. because The Devil’s Advocate thinks that they’re helping you. They think that by frustrating you, that they are helping you create a better argument. they will continue on until they feel you voiced your argument strongly enough or until you’re completely flustered, at which point they’ll say that they were “playing the devil’s advocate for fun” or “making sure you knew what you were talking about”. sometimes this is genuine, other times it’s a cop-out. they will even sometimes end with a “I agree with you”. but they don’t realize that all they’ve done is waste your time and theirs. there is absolutely no other reason to be The Devil’s Advocate outside of debate training, so The Devil’s Advocate is purposely arguing for the bigot while being a bigot. you’ll find that The Devil’s Advocate will usually be a wannabe lawyer, politician, or psychologist and they’ll rarely self-examine the reasons why they feel the need to be in such a role
The Student/False Ally- This bigot will pose as someone genuinely interested in learning why what they did was wrong. Their key trait is that they’ll ask, expect, or demand to be educated. If they are refused, they’ll cry victim, that they’re trying to learn, and big bad POC won’t be their ever dedicated teachers. They’ll rally others to show how they tried and were rebuffed in an effort to put themselves in the right and garner sympathy. If they are given explanations they’ll take nothing from it and steadfastly keep with their initial argument.
The Detective- This bigot will demand irrefutable proof that what they did was wrong when called out. Often they’ll offer hypotheticals with skewed logic. For example, if an unprovoked Detective uses a racial slur, some would ask “Yeah, well if a POC stole someone’s boyfriend and beat them up and killed their mother for no reason, would it still be bad to use that slur?” and ask the engaged to prove that the slur would be wrong to use in their hypothetical situation. If engaged and actually proven wrong, they’ll usually give a half-assed apology, saying they feel bad that people got offended and try to turn the victim spotlight on them. If not they’ll take the same route as The Student.
The Magpie Eye- The Magpie Eye will take an aspect of a POC’s culture to “appreciate” it. If met with resistance they might say that you don’t understand their sense of style or that they’re simply admiring. Don’t be fooled. If met with further resistance the Magpie Eye is likely to lash out at the people daring to tell them what they can or cannot use, and will claim to continue their offensive behavior out of spite for the one’s calling them out.